Did he just call me fat?

Santa brought me bronchitis for Christmas and because of the holiday I ended up in one of those walk in places instead of at my Drs. They decided I needed 2 shots, a round of antibiotics, and cough suppressants. The male nurse that came in to give me the shots was (of course) cute. I was not expecting to have to drop my drawers so I was embarrassed about what bloomers I had on. He shot one cheek and that hurt but the second shot in the other cheek hurt worse. I asked why and he said "Thicker on that side." Did he just call my butt lopsidedly fat? I turned to look at him and I almost asked but I didn't want to know. I was speechless at the time but I quietly giggled about it later. I'm using that as motivation once I get well to make a change.

Spanx Diet

I tried the Spanx diet. You know the one. You buy the Spanx because you think you need a little help until that water weight falls off. Just another bloated day. Those things are a *itch to get in and out of. I bought a onesie looking like thing that snaps between the legs because I figured bathroom breaks might be important. After wiggling myself into it and losing a couple of clumps of hair getting it on over my head in the process I didn't feel as compressed as I thought I would. Just felt like a snug swimsuit. But as the day wore on so did my nonchalant attitude with it. I had to take several bathroom breaks just to pull the crotch back into place so I'd stop walking like a cowboy. It wasn't like a wedgie... It was a body suit so if the crotch went too far one way you ended up not being able to stand up straight.

Then came time to eat. I know how much I'm typically able to eat and while I had the Spanx on I definitely filled up faster. Guess no room to expand. That part I liked. I need to be more aware of portion sizes. The downside was the gas that started to build after from being compressed. If bodily happenings gross you out, see you later!  I tried my darnest to keep it under control but one quietly slipped out. I instantly did the "pause and evaluate" and learned that (A.) the Spanx kept any ill smell contained and (B.) the Spanx was so good at holding things in I felt this air pocket trapped all around my hips! Oh what to do! I'm sure it was noticeable that my butt just gained an inch and I didn't like feeling like a 3 yr old hiding a surprise in his pants. I think it took about 5 min before things worked out and my bubble butt had deflated.

Needless to say I am not a fan of this Spanx diet. I must reconsider my approach.

Coming to terms...

I might have an avoidance problem. I don't like to think that I might have actually gained more weight than I meant to in the last few months. I've made several excuses like "Oh, that dinner was too salty. Give me another day and that water weight will drop back off." or "These must be my old jeans. Either that or all those squats I'm doing is starting to build muscle." I've upped my gym time but it seems I have upped my Ice Cream Therapy time as well. I broke my toe earlier this year and told myself I needed to get more calcium. Seemed like a legit reason at the time.  After a few recent incidents (which I will share soon) I am forced to admit I might need to lose a few lbs. I'm not fat by society's definition but I know what weight looks healthy on me and what looks festively plump. I refuse to buy larger clothes and that is where I am teetering. All these excuses I have been making for myself becomes Denial with a capital D when those fluctuating pounds aren't fluctuating anymore.