Spanx Diet

I tried the Spanx diet. You know the one. You buy the Spanx because you think you need a little help until that water weight falls off. Just another bloated day. Those things are a *itch to get in and out of. I bought a onesie looking like thing that snaps between the legs because I figured bathroom breaks might be important. After wiggling myself into it and losing a couple of clumps of hair getting it on over my head in the process I didn't feel as compressed as I thought I would. Just felt like a snug swimsuit. But as the day wore on so did my nonchalant attitude with it. I had to take several bathroom breaks just to pull the crotch back into place so I'd stop walking like a cowboy. It wasn't like a wedgie... It was a body suit so if the crotch went too far one way you ended up not being able to stand up straight.

Then came time to eat. I know how much I'm typically able to eat and while I had the Spanx on I definitely filled up faster. Guess no room to expand. That part I liked. I need to be more aware of portion sizes. The downside was the gas that started to build after from being compressed. If bodily happenings gross you out, see you later!  I tried my darnest to keep it under control but one quietly slipped out. I instantly did the "pause and evaluate" and learned that (A.) the Spanx kept any ill smell contained and (B.) the Spanx was so good at holding things in I felt this air pocket trapped all around my hips! Oh what to do! I'm sure it was noticeable that my butt just gained an inch and I didn't like feeling like a 3 yr old hiding a surprise in his pants. I think it took about 5 min before things worked out and my bubble butt had deflated.

Needless to say I am not a fan of this Spanx diet. I must reconsider my approach.